At Night
by Lady Callista
Summary: Only days after being betrayed by those they trusted most, Rangiku and Shuuhei end up crying in each other's arms. And as there is sake involved, it almost leads to more. Series: prequel After the Winter War. Pairing: Shuuhei & Rangiku as friends


Disclaimer: Kubo is god, Kubo is king, Tite Kubo owns everything. (Well, him and everyone associated with Bleach manga/anime.) I own nothing but my own storyline.

AN: So this is a little… different. I got a turbo urge to write more with Hisagi Shuuhei, as I've always loved him, and hate the fact that since I do all romances and I don't have a pairing I like for him (well, other than Renji in StarkBlack's one story, but I digress), I never get to write him. Then an idea hit, inspired by a reviewer who commented that she wanted to see the night (mentioned in Ghost Within Your Eyes) where Ran and Shuu almost slept together. However… This _is _part of the After The Winter War series. Rangiku and Shuuhei are friends, not lovers. This is the first thing I've ever really written that it not a romance. Although I did find a way to get a wee bit of citrus in there. Sorry if they're OOC, but the story just seemed to write itself.

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><p><span>At Night<span>

By Lady Callista

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_"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay_

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Hisagi Shuuhei locked eyes with Abarai Renji across a table littered with empty sake bottles. "Which one do you want?"

Renji glanced over his shoulder at their two drinking buddies, both of whom were already well-past drunk.

Kira Izuru simply stood at the bar, swaying slightly, his glassy eyes seemingly focused on nothing.

Matsumoto Rangiku was currently leaning over the bar, trying to talk the flustered bartender into giving them more sake, although the man kept insisting they were closed for the night, and that the four fukutaicho really needed to be leaving.

"I'll take Kira, he lives closer to me." Renji said with a sigh, heaving himself to his feet. Although he was drunk as well, he was nowhere near as bad as the others. "Unless you think you're too drunk to handle Ran-chan."

Shuuhei chuckled as he got to his feet as well, holding the table for a moment as the room took a single spin before returning to normal. "Nah, she's always easy to get back to her room once you remind her she has more sake stashed there."

Renji nodded, and the two men approached the bar, much to the relief of the bartender.

"Come on, Rangiku." Shuuhei said as he leaned on the bar next to her. "Let's get out of here."

"But he was about to give me another drink." Rangiku pouted. She had been drunk for several nights running now, and knew she hadn't had quite enough yet. Not enough to forget. Not enough to stop the dreams from coming.

Shuuhei sighed as he slid an arm around her waist and turned her towards the door. "We'll get you another drink when we get back to your place."

He wondered even as she stumbled how many she had already had, as she had been well into it when the three men arrived. She had been drinking heavily, even for her, for three nights running now. Which was exactly the amount of time that Aizen, Ichimaru, and Tosen had been gone.

The last name on that list caused a fist to clench somewhere deep inside him, and he closed his eyes for a moment and willed back the moisture that had started to fill them.

She was drinking to forget; it didn't take a genius to figure that out. Kira was drinking for the same reason, and had she not still been in the infirmary Hinamori Momo would likely have been with them.

It was the reason he was drinking too. To forget. Or to try to. But in his case, the memories seemed to burn stronger than the sake.

He barely noticed when Rangiku tossed an arm around his shoulders in return, and they began to move towards the door. "Good, cause I'm not done having fun yet."

He remembered Tosen-taicho's words to him one of the first times he had shuffled into the office after a particularly late night with the Drinking Group.

"_Having fun with your friends is all well and good, Hisagi-fukutaicho, but you should never let it interfere with your work."_

He had echoed those same words to members of his division over the years. And had heard himself echoing other things his taicho had said to him when he trained with them.

He stumbled on the uneven ground, a combination of both the sake and his thoughts being miles away, and barely noticed when Rangiku's arm caught him and they continued to walk.

He thought of Tosen when he wrote his reports, remembering the blind man patiently teaching him what all the forms and sub-forms were, and his apologies that his fukutaicho had more paperwork than the other fukutaicho, as he himself could not do it.

But Shuuhei had never minded. There had always been something relaxing about the paperwork. The routine. The order. He liked putting things in order. He liked alphabetizing, and filing, and making sure that everything was where it should be. How it should be. He was a little fanatical about it, actually.

"So serious, Shuuhei." Rangiku's voice broke him out of his thoughts. "What are you thinking about?"

Shuuhei blinked rapidly, trying to clear his mind. Trying to remember where he was.

They stood at the door to her rooms in her division's barracks, and he remembered just in time to look away from her. The first time he had ever walked her home, he had both blushed and stammered as her hand fished into the front of her shihakusho, looking for her key. Now he simply knew to look away.

"Uh….nothing much." He lied as he heard her unlock the door. It was an unspoken rule among them that when they went out drinking, they didn't talk about the three traitors.

"Now why don't I believe you?" Her voice was teasing, and she left him to close the door himself, going straight to a cabinet in the corner and pulling out the sake she kept there.

"Rangiku, why don't you just go to sleep?" Shuuhei sighed, hoping he could redirect the conversation.

"Cause I haven't had enough yet." Her voice was still light and teasing, her standard smile plastered to her face, but even through the glaze of sake Shuuhei could see the pain in her eyes. And he also saw something he didn't think he had ever seen in them. He saw fear, and desperation.

"Ran, you've had plenty." He tried to take a few steps into the room, forgetting that he was still in the entryway and that there was a step up to the main room.

Rangiku giggled as he crashed down onto the floor, catching himself enough with his hands that he didn't hit his head. "Well, you've certainly had plenty." She said as she crossed the room to him, taking a swig from the bottle of sake she still held.

Shuuhei rose to his knees, reaching out and pulling the bottle away from her. "You know we've got a meeting in the morning, and…"

Rangiku plopped down beside him, her hand resting on his shoulder for a second. The desperate look was still in her eyes, and she reached for the sake again. "I'll be there. But you _need_ to give that back to me. I… I need to sleep tonight, and the only way I can do that is if…"

She didn't finish the sentence, but grabbed the bottle and drank another gulp of sake as her eyes welled up with tears.

"Rangiku…"

"I don't want to dream about _him_ again, Shuu. I can't…" Her voice choked off on a sob, and the tears that had been welling in her eyes began to fall.

Shuuhei sighed, then scooted closer to her and gathered her in his arms.

Rangiku went still for a second as his arms came around her, and for a second her traitorous mind remembered the first man who had ever held her while she cried. And the fact that she still wished it was Gin's arms around her made her cry even harder. "I'm sorry, I… I'm a mess, and I know it, but I just want him back. I want everything to be like it was before." Her arms came around his waist as she sobbed into his chest. "I want them back. Then Momo-chan wouldn't be laying in a sickbed, and Kira wouldn't be walking around like a zombie, and you wouldn't… well, you've been holding it together, but…"

Rangiku's voice trailed off in shock as she felt the man in her arms tremble, as she heard a choked sob from above her.

"We have to hold it together." Shuuhei whispered even as he felt tears trailing down his face. "We have to be strong, and we have to do our jobs, and we can't let anyone see us at…"

"We can't let anyone see us at anything less than our best." Rangiku completed the last sentence, knowing it was something Tosen had told him repeatedly.

His arms tightened around her, and although he said nothing else she could feel that he was still crying.

She was as well, but her tears were actually slowing. Her need to comfort others, to take care of her friends, was pushing itself to the forefront. Plus if she concentrated on his pain it was a little easier to not think about her own.

Rangiku was not surprised when her tears stopped before those of her friend. After all, she had already cried buckets over Gin, where as she doubted Shuuhei had allowed himself to express much of anything.

And she knew from experience that no matter how long you bottled things up, no matter how long you held them in, at some point your body and your heart would force them out. Would force you to feel all the pain.

Rangiku tightened her arms around her friend even though she could feel his crying abating, and was glad she had been there for him. She could think of very few people he would let himself be vulnerable with, no matter how much sake was in him.

She was also glad he had been there for her.

Before this, she had cried all of her tears alone, because she hadn't wanted to explain to anyone why she was crying over a traitor. Especially since the extent of their relationship wasn't exactly common knowledge. Many of her close friends knew that they had been lovers in the past, but few knew that in a hundred years, neither had been with anyone else.

And so Rangiku had cried alone, hating herself for the fact that even though Gin had betrayed them all, she couldn't stop loving him. And while Shuuhei obviously hadn't loved his taicho in the way she loved Gin, he had liked and respected the man. More importantly, he had trusted Tosen.

"Ran-chan."

Rangiku was ripped out of her thoughts as the nickname Gin had given her fell from another man's lips. Which wasn't odd in itself, as many of her friends called her Ran-chan at times. In fact, she often told people to. The problem was that her heart flared, just for an instant, as she remembered the look in Gin's eyes the last time he had called her that.

Shuuhei gasped as a passionate burst of reiatsu pulsed through the woman in his arms, and couldn't help his instinctive reaction. His arms tightened their hold on her, the face that had been buried in her hair turned to ghost lips over her neck, and an answering pulse of reiatsu flared through him.

This time it was Rangiku who gasped in shock. She tried instantly to pull back, and he released her, but only far enough to look into her eyes. His hands were still on her upper arms, and she noted with shock that hers had instinctively slid down his sides to rest on his hips.

Shuuhei's eyes slid shut for an instant as he tried to regain his composure. He tried telling his hands to release his friend, tried telling his feet to back away from the woman, tried telling his raging blood that the beautiful woman in his arms…

Shuuhei's eyes snapped open, and he knew just how intense the look in them was by the fact that she gasped again, yet seemed unable to look away. He couldn't lie to himself and say she wasn't a beautiful woman, or that he hadn't had a crush on her at some point in all the years they had been friends. Most of the men in Seireitei had, at some point or another. But he hadn't thought of her that way in years.

And he was one of the few that knew her and Ichimaru had been lovers for the past hundred years.

"Shuu…" Rangiku whispered, her eyes still trapped in his own. "You… you need to go."

"I know." He whispered as well, yet seemingly of its own accord one of his hands came up to brush over her cheek.

"Shuuhei…" Her voice trembled, and her cheeks flushed an even brighter pink than they already were from all the sake.

"I hate seeing you cry." Shuuhei's voice was still a whisper, and his fingers brushed over her other cheek, trembling as they passed through the tears still rolling down her face. "You're the one who is always supposed to be smiling and laughing."

Rangiku tried to bring a smile to her face, but couldn't get her mouth to work right. "I don't know if I remember how to smile."

"You were smiling earlier tonight." Shuuhei said softly, his fingers still on her cheek even as his thumb ghosted over her lips.

Rangiku's eyes widened, and her tongue flicked out to lick her lips as his thumb withdrew, her breath hitching as she saw his eyes heat an instant before his gaze flicked down to her mouth. "I… I can make myself forget. I can still laugh and smile. If I drink enough… if there are enough people around… but when I'm alone… when it's dark… I think about how he used to come to me… Gods, I can still feel his hands… his…"

"Ran-chan…"

Rangiku's eyes slid shut as she heard a second voice in her head once again echo the nickname, and she set the sake bottle down on the ground as she raised her hand, running her fingers lightly over the back of the hand he still held cupped to her cheek. "Shuu…" Rangiku tilted her head, brushing her lips over his cheek. "Please make me forget. Please, Shuu, just for tonight…"

Shuuhei felt his reiatsu spike again, and shook even as he leaned in and rested their foreheads together. "This isn't the way to forget. You… you were right, I need to leave, I…"

"Please." Rangiku hated the weakness in her voice, in her heart, and even knowing she wouldn't be doing this without the gallons of sake she had poured into herself, she couldn't seem to stop the words. "Please, I need someone… I need…"

Lost in her scent and her voice, and desperate himself to forget, even if just for a little while, Shuuhei tilted his head, and with his hand still cupping her cheek brought her closer to him and kissed her.

He meant to keep it soft and light, more friendly than anything else, but when her hand slid up into his hair and she moaned into his mouth, he let himself sink into her.

Just for a minute, that was all he could think. It couldn't hurt for just a minute. The sake was never enough to make him forget, yet at the moment he couldn't even remember what he was trying to forget.

Rangiku sighed as a second hand cupped her cheek, and the hand that wasn't already tangled in his hair began to slid up and down his arm as the kiss deepened even more. She slid closer to him, pressing their chests together, wanting to feel the heat of him. Wanting to feel his reiatsu pulse against her skin. For the moment, there was nothing but this. Nothing but him. Gin…

"No!" Rangiku broke away from him with a cry, her sobs starting up again.

Shuuhei scooted back at once, breathing heavily, thought and reason flooding back in a rush. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I…"

"No… it's not your fault." Rangiku choked out, feeling both shame and misery flood back into her. "I asked… hell, I practically begged you to…"

"It felt so good, just for that minute." Shuuhei whispered, reaching unto the floor beside him and taking a gulp of sake. "I wasn't even thinking that it was you, that you were my friend and I would be taking advantage. All I was thinking was that for a minute there was no pain. There was just… just you."

Rangiku managed to stop crying, and took a swig of the sake when he passed it to her before she could ask. "I knew it was you, at first. But it felt so good, just to feel again. And then instead of you, it was his name that popped into my head. Shuu, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Ran-chan." He whispered. "I know you don't feel that way about me, I… I just wanted us both to stop hurting."

"Thank you." Her voice was barely a whisper. "For being here. And for understanding." Then she looked up at him, and for a moment there was a ghost of a real smile on her face. "And thank you for that minute. You… you're a good kisser. I'm almost sorry we never…"

Shuuhei's breath caught for an instant, and then he was somehow both coughing and laughing at the same time. "Right back at ya, Ran. I really need to go now though. Before we both decide that not hurting for a little while would be worth doing something we would regret in the morning."

Her only reaction was to nod, so after taking a moment to collect himself he got shakily to his feet and started towards the door.

"Shuu…"

His hand just reaching out to open the door, Shuuhei turned back to face her as she half-whispered his name, and was surprised to find her standing. "Hnn?"

"Shuuhei, would you… would you stay?"

"Ran-chan?" Shuuhei tilted his head, confused.

"Even before… before we were lovers, Gin would hold me sometimes, at night. When I was scared, or when I was sad, or sometimes just because it was cold." Rangiku could barely get the words out, and she knew she was talking too quietly when he took a few steps back towards her. "I'm cold now, inside rather than out. And I'm sad. And I'm scared, because I don't know what I'll do without him. But I was scared to tell anyone that, so I haven't had anyone to hold me, and I miss that; I miss having someone else with me at night, feeling the heat, and the reiatsu, and I…"

"Ran, are you asking me to sleep with you?" Shuuhei stood right in front of her again. "I mean… to hold you?"

Unable to meet his eyes, ashamed of her weakness, Rangiku nodded.

"I've… I've never slept, I mean, _just _slept, with anyone before." Shuuhei said quietly.

Rangiku immediately took a step back and began to babble. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even asked. I can't imagine asking any of my other friends. And it should be special, I mean, it shouldn't be just a friend, it's obviously not as big a deal as… but still, it's special, and it's hard, cause you have to trust the person enough to go to sleep, to be helpless, and…"

Shuuhei quieted her by moving closer again, and laying a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Will you sleep better? Will it help you feel better?"

Rangiku tried to keep her face blank, but knew he saw the confirmation in her eyes.

"Will it help me feel better, too?" Shuuhei asked in a voice lower than a whisper.

"It would be hard for us to feel worse." Rangiku tried for a light tone, but failed miserably.

"Then I'll hold you tonight." Shuuhei took her hand gently, and started to move towards her bedroom. "And maybe we'll both feel better in the morning."

The End

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><p>AN: Okay, yeah, they're a bit OOC, or more than a bit, but this story just wrote itself and wouldn't let me stop. Hope it was enjoyable. Review, onegai? This is a completely new type of story for me. Friendship over romance. But I got the idea from that paragraph in Ghost Within Your Eyes, and just had to expand on it. Especially as I've always loved Shuuhei, and wished I had a girl for him. Or a guy. Although I would gladly take him myself. With all the moving and other stuff I've had going on the past week, I've only gotten to work a little bit on the next chapters of my ByaRan and RenRuk stories, but as one-shots take less time and thought, I had time for this. The next part of one of those will be out soon.<p> 


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